Leading linguists, philosophers and sociologists have started a procedure for changing the official meaning of the word “love”. The reason is that no one uses it with its original meaning anymore.

In the new version the first meaning will be:

1. disgusting carcass, crawling at your feet

Research shows that the majority of people understand exactly that when they hear this word.

In the everyday speech “love” is used in several more senses. This is the second most popular one:

2. a pink unicorn, hopping in a pink forest under a pink rainbow

This word is semantically remarkable, as it covers a wide range of seemingly contradictory topics. Right next to the unicorn comes the following:

3. old dirty rag which you use only when your life looks like a piggery and which you throw away as soon as possible

Other people use “love” in order to express a frequent phenomenon in their daily life:

4. the thing that happens at the moment in which you see a person from the other sex

The fifth meaning is a little bit more traditional and it is probably one of the oldest:

5. the oppressive but socially accepted prelude to having children

And, although it is rare, sometimes “love” is used to express emotion:

6. a strong feeling of insecurity and extreme desire for crawling accompanied by ceaseless self-humiliation and humiliation of the partner

“Love” has a few more meanings, but you can look them up in the new version of the dictionary. Actually, there’s no need. Just listen to yourselves what do you use it for.