Forgiveness – a path to liberation

We are used to thinking that forgiveness is something we give to others. In reality, however, it is a gift to ourselves.

Forgiveness is liberation. From the pain, from the wounds inflicted, from the anger and hatred, from the desperation, born by the betrayals. Forgiveness is not an act of mercy, but a refusal to submit to one’s own negative emotions. The ability to forgive is what allows us to break old threads in order to move forward on new paths.

Forgiveness is not a rejection of reality. It is not a tool that helps us pretend that nothing happened. On the contrary. Forgiveness requires that reality be accepted for what it is. To understand the reasons for the situations that have arisen and the actions of those involved. Forgiveness is understanding, not forgetting.

In terms of forgiveness, existence is divided into three categories.

Things that are neither forgivable nor unforgivable. Here fall insignificant incidents such as – I broke your favorite vase, I stole ten bucks from you, I lied to you that this is my natural hair color. To start forgiving such things is not kindness, but the highest form of cynicism. Here one should just wave their hand and refuse to live in the illusion that they are being noble.

The consequences of life’s big choices also fall into this category. You can’t say, “I forgive you for following your dreams, even though it hurts me.” Anyone who imagines they have the right to forgive someone’s greatness is a fool. He who follows himself is beyond everything else.

In the second group are the forgivable things.
It takes great strength to let go of the really big transgressions. The alcoholic father, the kids who bullied you at school, the random thief who took the last money you had left, and all the others who in their blindness killed the things you love. All that can be forgiven must be forgiven. That is the only way to truly live.

And finally are the unforgivable things. Time heals all things and at the end of eternity we will be able to forgive, but there are crimes for which human life is simply not long enough. For those who have denied themselves, who have betrayed their love and cast their own souls into oblivion, there is no forgiveness. Not here, not in this life. And quite possibly not in many lifetimes to come.

Forgive, for anyone can be forgiven. Just not to the one who has found himself and surrendered.

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